


Fears

by skaioctavia



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Comforting Bellamy Blake, F/M, Fear, Panic Attacks, Worried Bellamy Blake, Worried Clarke Griffin, bellarke AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28221027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaioctavia/pseuds/skaioctavia
Summary: Clarke Griffin was afraid of nothing — or at least is what she lets everyone think. She always tried to seem strong and tough, but when she started dating Bellamy Blake, he becomes determined to find out and know her fears. He didn’t mean to fall more in love with the blonde with blue eyes girl more because of that nor find it cute when she hugs him tight when she’s scared, but he did. He was the only person Clarke Griffin had ever pulled her guard down, and he had never been happier.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Kudos: 37





	Fears

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Hope you like this one shot! Lmk your thoughts on the comments! :)  
> TW: Panic Attack.

Clarke Griffin was afraid of nothing. Even in roughness situations, she always stayed calm and never showed any sign of fear. Bellamy always wondered either if it was a way of people think she’s tough and she shouldn’t be underestimated, or just a way of hid her fears and protect herself.

But Bellamy knew for sure everyone was afraid of something. For example, spiders scared the hell out of him. Seems like a silly thing, but he can’t see a spider near him that he starts panicking. Once when Bellamy was in Clarke’s bed, he saw Clarke’s sister’s toy spider and he screamed so much that Clarke laughed over it for three days. Three freaking days.

And Octavia, Bellamy’s sister was so damn afraid of dogs, because when she was little their dog had bite her so badly she had to go to the hospital. She never liked dogs since then. Lincoln, Octavia’s boyfriend, has a dog, Liv, and the day Octavia first went to his house and Liv started running towards her, she panicked and started running around Lincoln’s garden, trying to escape from Liv who thought they were just playing. Lincoln jokes about this until today.

Raven, their best mechanic friend, had an really uncommon fear: she was afraid of closed doors. Yes, that’s it. They used to make fun of her at first, but when she told them why they felt incredibly bad. Once when she was a kid she got locked on the bathroom for twelve hours and she just could get out of there when her mother came back from work. She got traumatized and never locks doors and doesn’t even like closing them.

Monty and Jasper shared a fear and it didn’t surprise anyone — they were like the same person in two different bodies. Harper once said dating Monty feels like she’s dating Jasper too. They were afraid of fire, because once when they were sleeping, Jasper’s air conditioning literally got on fire and luckily Monty woke up on time and they got out of the apartment in one piece. They can’t be around fire anymore.

Harper surprisedly was afraid of clowns since she was a kid and she never actually overcame this fear. They helped her trie to get through this, but they never got lucky. She actually started therapy to overcome this some weeks ago and they’re all glad she’s not so afraid of clowns anymore — because they are all clowns anyway.

Lincoln’s fear was to lose someone he loves. He lost both his parents when he was a teenager and since then he has been really overprotective over himself and doesn’t pull his guard down for everyone. Bellamy’s glad he found Octavia though, and he knows she will help him throughout this.

Bellamy knew all his friend’s fears, but he didn’t know Clarke’s. They’ve known each other for a long time and their relationship developed hurtfully slowly throughout the years. They first became colleagues, then became friends, then best friends, then they first kissed and they said they wouldn’t name what they were until they were sure and then, five months later, they started dating. They started dating four years later they first met and it killed both of them being so in love with each other but not knowing if it was reciprocal. Their friends always said they were blind and stupid, that they loved each other and it was written right on their faces but they took four years to realize that. 

Bellamy doesn’t bother tough. At least it made they have a solid friendship first and they already trusted each other when they started dating. They already had a trust-based relationship and it made easier the new development of it.

But Bellamy still wondered why Clarke still always made herself seem so strong and tough. He always told her along the years she didn’t had to, not with him. But it’s like she can’t bring herself to be totally honest with him, not even if she tries. So, Bellamy became determined to find out and know her fears, and somehow help her through it.

He never meant to fall in love with her more because of it, nor find she cute, but he couldn’t help. Clarke was always so strong and don’t get him wrong, he loves how strong she is but sometimes he liked when she pulled her guard down and finally understood that she doesn’t have to seem strong with him, because he already knows she is.

The first time he found out one of her fears was a very unexpected moment. They had just had a fight and both of them were in the elevator, going hang out with their friends. It was a stupid fight, but they’re both too stubborn to bring themselves to say “I’m sorry” and then they just yell at each other non stoping until one of them eventually gets tired and walks out. They fought over him always being late for their dates. He had apologized and said it was because of his work but Clarke exploded and asked if his work mattered more than her and then it was all just yelling and anger.

They were in silent, neither of them willing to say the first word. Clarke was upset he was always late for their dates and Bellamy was angry she didn’t understand his side. They both were hurt and all they wanted as to hug each other but yet they’re to stubborn to apologize first.

And then suddenly the elevator stopped abruptly. Bellamy sighed. Great, now he was stuck in the elevator with his girlfriend who was really mad at him. He pushed the level buttons, but realized that the building had probably run out of light. He sighed again, this time defeated, and took off his jacket. It looked like they were going to be stuck there for a while.

Bellamy was surprised that Clarke didn’t yell or something. Then he turned to her, and understood why she hadn't shouted; she was struggling to breathe.

He walked over her. She was sitting in the elevator’s floor, laying her head on her knees as she gasped for air. He knees in front of her. “Clarke, what’s wrong?” he asked, all his anger riding away and turning to worry.

“I— I—“ she choked the words as she gasped for air and cried, sobbing violently. Bellamy didn’t know what was going on, but he knew she was having an panic attack. He held her hand and squeezed it, and then she looked at him.

“Clarke, it’s okay,” he whispers gently. “Just breathe with me, alright?” She nodded as she tried to stabilize her breathing while Bellamy whispered loving word in her ear trying to calm her down, but it wasn’t working and it made her panic grow. Bellamy took her in his arms and held her tight, hoping it calms her down a bit.

“Babe, just try to relax, okay? Try to relax and listen to my breathing,” he said as she layered her head on his chest listening closely to his heart beating and it calmed her down a bit and it made Bellamy smile. “You’re doing great, honey. Continue following my breathing. In,” he breathed in, “and out,” he breathed out. He continued saying this caressing her back while she managed to calm down. When she stoped sobbing and her breathing had stabilized, she pulled back and wiped her tears.

“Sorry,” she whispered weakly. 

“Hon’, you have nothing to be sorry about. Why are you sorry?” Bellamy asked softly.

“I’m sorry for break over you like a baby.”

“But you’re my baby,” he said and she laughed, tapping him on his shoulder. “And there’s nothing to apologize for. You can always break over me.”

“But—“

“Clarke,” he sighed her name, “you were having a panic attack.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey. Stoping apologizing over it. You don’t have to,” he said, caressing her cheek and she smiled sadly.

“Yeah, I know. I just— I didn’t want you to think I’m weak,” she said and he smiled, looking at her gently.

“Clarke, there’s nothing on this damn world that would make me think for one second you’re nothing less than strong. You’ve always been so strong with me, with our friends, with everyone. But you don’t have to be always so strong, you know? Sometimes we just have to allow ourselves to be a little weak. That makes us stronger.”

She smiled and caressed his hand on her cheek. “You always have the right thing to say, don’t you?”

“What can I say? I’m awesome,” he said and she laughed.

“Don’t feel yourself too much, Blake.”

They both smiled for a while, in silence. Then Bellamy’s smile disappeared as he felt he had to ask her this. “Why did you panic, babe?”

He didn’t mean at all to make her uncomfortable with this question, he just wondered why. He had never seen Clarke panic like this — sure, he knew she had panic attacks and always helped her through this but he didn’t know why specifically she panicked there.

“Um... I just...” she whispered avoiding his gaze, but he grabs her chin gently, making her look in his eyes.

“Clarke.”

“I’m claustrophobic,” she said and Bellamy opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn’t bring himself to say something. He didn’t know what to say. For so long he craved to find out Clarke’s fears — and now he did, he didn’t know how to react. He felt stupid.

“Why haven’t you told me before?” he asked after a while and she squeezed his hand.

“I didn’t think it was a romantic thing to mention in a date like: ‘Hey Bell, I know we’re having a romantic dinner, but I have to tell you something; I’m claustrophobic’,” she jokes and he smiles a bit.

“But you should have told me anyway. We could’ve avoid the elevator.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve been living in this building for so long I kinda get used to use the elevator, ‘cause my apartment is in the 15th floor and like hell I’d use the stairs,” she said and Bellamy laughed a bit. “But when the elevator stopped... I tried to tell myself everything was okay, we’d get out of here soon and at least I wasn’t alone, but my brain continued to show me some ugly scenarios where we both died here or the walls approached each other, crushing us in the middle of them and I— I just panicked.”

He caressed her cheek with a sad smile. “This is so stupid. I’m sorry,” she said, hiding her face on her hands.

“Hey, hey,” he said gently, grabbing her wist and holding her hands. “Hey, Clarke, look at me.” She looked at him with watering eyes and he wiped her tears away as he spoke. “There’s nothing stupid in this, okay? This is a fear, and no fear is stupid.”

“Not even being scared of tiny places for no reason?”

“Not even this.” He smiled. “Clarke, I won’t judge you because of your fear. I’ll never know how it is unless I walk in your shoes and I would never ever say your fear is stupid. Alright?”

“Alright,” she said smiling and kissed him softly. “I’m so glad I have you in my life.”

He smiled brightly and brush her hair off of her face. “I’m glad I have you in my life too.”

* * *

The second time he found out one of her fears was on Thanksgiving. They have been celebrating all day long with their friends but when the sun went down, everyone went to their houses and Bellamy and Clarke stayed in theirs, where the thanksgiving celebration were. They were sitting in the couch, Clarke’s head layered on Bellamy’s lap as he caressed her hair.

“Today was perfect,” she said.

“Yes, it was. And I’m so freaking grateful I’m with a beautiful woman like you,” he said kissing her hair and she laughed.

“Bell, you literally said it twice just today.”

“What— can’t I be grateful? It’s Thanksgiving!” he said and she laughed again.

“What we’re gonna do right now?” she asked.

“What about we watch a movie?” he suggested and Clarke sat on the couch to look at her boyfriend.

“Sounds good. What we’ll watch?”

“What about The Nun?” he asked, and he sweared he felt like she shakes a bit on his side.

“No, let’s pick another movie,” she said.

“Why?” he asked. “It must be a good movie.”

“It mustn’t,” she argues. “Pick another one.”

“Clarke, are you mad?” he asked, frowning. He did nothing wrong — he just suggested a movie.

“No, I just don’t want to watch horror films is that so wrong?” she yelled and Bellamy could tell that something was clearly wrong.

“Clarke, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she said, crossing her arms against her chest.

“Clarke.”

She sighed. “Imafraidofhorrormovies,” she whispered quickly and Bellamy couldn’t understand what she said.

“What?” he asked.

“I’m afraid of horror movies, okay?” she yelled and Bellamy smiled.

“Clarke Griffin is afraid of horror movies,” Bellamy said smiling and Clarke sighed in frustration.

“You such a jerk,” she said going away but Bellamy grabbed her wist, bringing her close to him.

“Hey, babe, I’m sorry, don’t be mad,” he said and hugged her but she didn’t hug him back.  _ She’s really upset, _ he realized. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just didn’t expect this. I never thought you were afraid of horror movies, and if I did I’d never have suggested watching The Nun. I’m sorry, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, after a while and hugged him back. 

He smiled in her hair. “Aww, my baby’s afraid of horror movies,” he jokes and she pulls back, tapping his shoulder. “Hey, it hurts!” he said.

“I hate you, dimwit,” she said.

“Do you, though?” He kissed her and felt she smiling against his lips. 

In the end, they decided to watch The Nun anyway. Clarke held him tight he whole movie and whenever she jumped or hid her face on his neck he just held her waist tighter, like he was saying  _ “I’m here and nothing will happen to you _ _.”_ He didn’t want to think she’s adorable because of this but he did. However, he didn’t tell her this or else he would end up killed.

* * *

The third time he found out her fears was in the football season. It was the first game of the season and he was really exited. He was the quarterback, the captain and the heart of the team. Clarke always comes to see his games, and it brings him lucky as he says. 

He always like to see her smiling at him from distance and cheering for him. She always support him throughout the games and in his trainings and he’s always grateful for that. If weren’t for her, maybe he wouldn’t have went that far.

In one of the games, he got hurt. He left the game earlier and went to school infirmary. The nurse told him he had just injured his ankle, though he wouldn’t be able to play football for a while nor put so much weight on it. 

When the door of the infirmary were open, Bellamy saw Clarke running to him and hugging him tight. He hugged her back, not understanding what exactly was going on. She pulled back and looked at him and he could see the worry all over her face.

“Bell, are you okay? Are you hurt?” she asked and he could see she was really worried about him. 

He grabbed her hand and smiled. “I’m fine, babe. I just hurt my ankle.”

“Just?!” she asked worriedly and looked at his ankle that was bandaged. “Just, Bellamy?!”

“Is nothing, Clarke,” he tells trying to calm her down, but it does the opposite from what it seems.

“It is something, Bellamy! You’re injured! It could be worse!”

“It’s okay, Clarke. You don’t have to worry about this,” he said, but Clarke ignored him and continued looking at his ankle. 

“Does it hurt? Is it bad?” she asked.

“No, babe, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? It seems bad, Bellamy!”

“Clarke,” he gasped her name holding her face, looking in her worried eyes. “I’m telling you it’s okay and you don’t have to worry about this, okay?”

“I just— I can support the idea of something bad happening to you or you getting hurt,” she whispered and Bellamy hugged her softly. He was happy she cared this much about him but he didn’t want to worry her.

“I didn’t mean to worry you, sorry. It’s just football, you know. I might get hurt sometimes,” he whispered in her hair and she hugged him tighter as she sighed.

“I know. And there’s nothing to apologize for, babe. Just be more careful next time, please. Would be nice if I could avoid being worried like hell.”

He smiled in her hair and hugged her tightly. “You called me babe.”

She pulled back and looked at him. “What? Is it wrong?”

He smiled. “No, no, not at all.” He brushed her hair off of her face. “It’s just nice to hear you call me like that. Usually I am the one who calls you babe.”

“Then I call you babe more often... babe,” she said smiling and kissed him.

Now that Bellamy knew Clarke’s fears, he accidentally fell in love with her more. He didn’t mean that and if she knew it she probably would kill him, but he’s just happy she doesn’t play strong around him. Not anymore.


End file.
